The Real Madrid duo have apparently "fallen" out with Italian boss Fabio Capello, and like David Beckham (who was also linked with the Magpies last week), they want to move.
Ronaldo is reportedly available for £5million but the Brazilian star is picking up wages that probably only Chelsea could afford. But he is carrying more weight than Micky Quinn, and if he cannot motivate himself playing for the greatest club in the world, imagine him ploughing through the clarts at St James' Park on a snowy February evening.
Trust me ... this story is as fictional as the one that Becks and Posh were heading to the Bigg Market.