The England forward picked up TWO caps for his England debut against Trinidad and Tobago on Sunday, his first and his last!
The 24-year-old was allegedly a target of Newcastle, according to the London press, but we understand that was well wide of the mark.
Dubbed the "new Shearer", but not worthy to wipe Shearer's arse, I'm sure Toon fans are delighted the former Crewe striker will stay at Upton Park in search of another 300-plus goals to beat the Toon legend's goal tally.
Ashton: "I am delighted. I said all along that I wanted to sign.
"I feel I have still got a lot to show the football club and the fans. I am really happy that I have signed - and now I can look forward to next season.
"It is a fantastic way to end the season for me.
"It is not going to be on my mind now - and with a five-year contract, the future is here.
"I said I wanted to stay at the end of the season and I am really glad it has been done so professionally and sorted now.
"I didn't play as many games as I wish I could - and obviously I missed the season before.
"I am really excited about next season. I feel I can only get better, so I am really glad that I have signed and can look forward to the future.
"I think after the injury I had as well, it is nice the club have managed to agree with me on a new deal.
"We are really looking to the future."
We asked Alan Shearer to comment, but sadly all we got out of him was: "Dean who?"