D-Day For Alan Smith - Results Of Scan Due

Toon midfielder Alan Smith was in London today undergoing scans on the ankle he injured at Sunderland.

The 30-year-old left the Stadium of Light on crutches after limping off before the break, and it is feared he could face several weeks on the sidelines.

NU

SUNDERLAND 1 NEWCASTLE 1

SUNDERLAND: Gordon, Onuoha (Zenden 75), Bramble, Ferdinand, Bardsley, Elmohamady (Colback 88), Henderson, Richardson,Malbranque, Gyan, Bent.
Subs Not Used: Mignolet, Angeleri, Da Silva, Riveros, Reid.

NEWCASTLE: Harper, Simpson, Coloccini, Williamson, Jose Enrique, Barton, Nolan, Smith (Guthrie 37),Gutierrez (Gosling 90), Best (Lovenkrands 88), Ameobi.
Subs Not Used: Krul, Routledge, Perch, Ranger.

Att: 47,864

Newcastle came within seconds of a double derby win, then the Mackems celebrated as though they had just found an owner for the "we's keys are these keys"!

Heart-breaking? You could say that, as the Scum were out-played, out-fought and out-thought ... and a lucky goal from disco-dancing Asamoah Gyan got Sunderland out of jail.

Looking like a transvestite (more female than male), deep into stoppage time he didn't know what the hell hit him as Steve Harper punched out a shot and it bounced off his chest into an empty net.

The Mackems, who had hardly uttered a word after Magpies skipper Kevin Nolan scored in the 52nd-minute with a back-heel, celebrated as though it was the 1973 FA Cup final all over again.

With the clock having ticked into the fourth minute of injury time, many Mackems had given up the ghost and left, but Gyan nudged the ball over the line after Harper could only parry Phil Bardsley's shot to snatch a point his side barely deserved.

Newcastle dominated the game but the Magpies, without Andy Carroll leading the line, had been unable to convert a series of good chances which had come their way.

The visitors could have been ahead with just three minutes gone after Joey Barton carved open the home defence.

His floated ball over the top allowed Shola Ameobi to beat the Black Cats' offside trap and bear down on Gordon, but although his shot beat the Scotland international, it ran agonisingly wide of the post.

Sunderland responded and Darren Bent might have opened the scoring three minutes later after being played in by Steed Malbranque.

However, after cutting inside central defender Fabricio Coloccini, who otherwise enjoyed an impressive first half, the England striker saw his shot blocked by Harper's foot.

Newcastle threatened once again with 12 minutes gone when, after Barton's corner had been half-cleared, Coloccini fired towards the bottom corner and Kieran Richardson hacked off the line.

Harper had to get down smartly to keep out Malbranque's 18th-minute drive and Nolan's block accounted for Jordan Henderson's well-struck effort from distance in injury time, although Ameobi had earlier headed over from another Barton corner.

Bent had a glimpse of goal four minutes after the restart when he ran on to Bardsley's long ball, but with Harper advancing to meet him, he lifted his lob over the keeper but wide of the post.

The miss proved costly within three minutes when Ameobi got up above Anton Ferdinand to meet Barton's corner and head down for Nolan to back-heel audaciously past Gordon from point-blank range.

Sunderland were in some disarray as Newcastle dominated possession, although Harper was relived to see Richardson deflected Ahmed Elmohamady's driven 66th-minute cross wide.

The home side lacked any real guile or craft and the game seemed to be in the bag

With Coloccini and central defensive partner Mike Williamson in imperious form against an impotent strike-force of Bent and Gyan, the minutes ticked away with little sign of an equaliser.

But four minutes into injury time Harper failed to hold Bardsley's shot and Gyan bundled the ball home from close range to spare his side's blushes.

It was all too much for one home fan who was arrested on the pitch after making his way over to Harper and there were ugly scenes after the final whistle.

Shit

JANUARY PREMIERSHIP FIXTURES 
Saturday 22nd January 2011  

Arsenal  v  Wigan Athletic 15.00
Aston Villa  v  Man City 17.30
Blackpool  v  Sunderland 15.00
Everton  v  West Ham 15.00
Fulham  v  Stoke City 15.00
Man Utd  v  Birmingham 15.00
Newcastle  v  Tottenham 15.00
Wolves  v  Liverpool 12.45
 
Sunday 23rd January 2011  

Blackburn  v  West Brom 16.00
 
Monday 24th January 2011  

Bolton  v  Chelsea 20.00
 
Tuesday 25th January 2011  

Blackpool  v  Man Utd 19.30
Wigan Athletic  v  Aston Villa 19.45
 
Wednesday 26th January 2011  

Liverpool  v  Fulham 20.00

 FM

THE FUNNIEST GEORDIE BOOK OF THE DECADE .......

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AYA

The hilarious history of entertaining on the North-East of England Workingmen's club circuit.

The first rung on the ladder of dreams and aspirations, and it sure as hell isn’t Vegas or Madison Square Garden.

If you have never visited a Newcastle Workingmen’s club before, I’m sure the 170-plus pages in this book will be bloody confusing ... and have you in fits of laughter!

It features Sir Bobby Robson, Chubby Brown, and host of Geordie 'legends' just waiting to be discovered.

The Echo: "5 stars - absolute genius! I could not put this book down. The sort of Geordie humour the Toon is built on!"  

Contact us for a special deal of £7.99 (and that includes post and packing) PLUS £1 goes to Sir Bobby's Cancer Foundation:  

Kevnumad@fsmail.net

SBR

Or the book is available for £8.99 at Lulu.com: 

http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/are-you-affiliated/14302830 

SFC

It was a match that comes once a life-time. The biggest humiliation of the Mackems in living memory ... and I thought I'd died and gone to heaven!

 

NU

NEWCASTLE 5 SUNDERLAND 1

NEWCASTLE: Krul, Jose Enrique, Coloccini, Williamson, Simpson, Tiote, Barton, Nolan, Gutierrez, Ameobi (Ranger 86), Carroll. Subs Not Used: Soderberg, Routledge, Lovenkrands, Perch, Ryan Taylor, Smith.

SUNDERLAND:  Mignolet, Bardsley, Bramble, Turner, Onuoha, Henderson, Cattermole (Mensah 76), Malbranque, Elmohamady (Gyan 40), Welbeck (Richardson 55), Bent. Subs Not Used: Gordon, Zenden, Da Silva, Ferdinand.

Att: 51,988

It was as close to the perfect performance I have ever seen from a Newcastle United side.

There was no weakness; no player gave less than 100%; and it was a system that ripped the heart out of the Mackems and had them running for the exit with half and hour still to go.

Captain Marvel Kevin Nolan put in one of the best performances I have EVER seen, and I am old enough to remember Tony Green's stunning game at Old Trafford; Supermac's double at Hillsborough against Burnley; Shearer's five against Sheff Wed; Tino's hat-trick that rocked Barcelona; and David Ginola's wonder show at Bolton.

He scored a hat-trick, but that was just part of it. He pulled the piss out of Cattermole for 76 minutes and Steve Bruce finally put his skipper out of his misery by subbing him before he broke down in tears!

Nolan goaded him with: "What's the score? Eh eh eh eh?" and when Cattermole left the field Nolan then turned his attention to Mensah, who was so lucky not to get sent off for biting back.

Nolan will make the headlines, but not far behind him was Joey Barton who was AWESOME! Every pass, cross, corner and free-kick put the Mackems to the sword, and this was the best we have ever seen of him.

But there were 11 stars out there, and the Scum couldn't lick their boots.

It was as close to perfection as I have ever seen.

Match report:-

The Magpies were on the front foot from the off as the game started at a lively pace, and they steadily built momentum before exploding into life with 24 minutes gone.

It took a fine reaction save from Simon Mignolet to keep out Andy Carroll's bullet header, and the Belgian had to be equally alert two minutes later to claw Joey Barton's stinging drive away from the bottom corner.

But the deadlock was finally broken from the resulting corner when central defender Mike Williamson got up well to head down Barton's corner and Nolan sent the ball into the roof of the net with an acrobatic overhead kick.

The noise level at St James' Park reached ear-splitting levels as Nolan was mobbed by his team-mates, and it was to get much, much better for the home fans before the half-time whistle sounded.

Newcastle increased their lead within eight minutes when Carroll's scuffed volley fell perfectly for the criminally unmarked Nolan, who controlled before slipping the ball past the advancing Mignolet.

Bruce's game plan was simply not working, with lone striker Bent almost redundant, and the manager made his tactical move five minutes before the break when he sent on £13million-plus man Gyan in place of Ahmed Elmohamady and switched to a 4-4-2 formation.

But before the new arrival could make an impact, his side fell further behind after Nedum Onuoha's clumsy injury-time challenge on Jonas Gutierrez prompted referee Phil Dowd to point to the spot.

Ameobi, who converted a penalty in the corresponding fixture two seasons ago, repeated the feat to pile the pressure on Bruce and his players.

Sunderland's reshuffle had seen Steed Malbranque drop into a midfield four and Jordan Henderson move out to the right, and while that gave them a better shape, they caused few problems for their hosts in the opening minutes of the second half.

Their woes deepened with 53 minutes gone when in his eagerness to prevent Carroll from racing in on goal, Bramble launched himself into a desperate challenge which sent the striker sprawling, and was punished with a straight red card.

Carroll sent a towering header over the bar two minutes later with the visitors rocking, and Bruce introduced Kieran Richardson as a replacement for Danny Welbeck with things going from bad to worse.

Krul, who had been a virtual spectator for much of the game, had to get down well to turn away Phil Bardsley's 65th-minute strike, but the Magpies were coasting to victory.

They increased their lead with 20 minutes remaining when Carroll's powerful header came back off the crossbar and Ameobi rifled home spectacularly.

There was worse to come five minutes later when Nolan met Ameobi's flick-on two yards out to complete his hat-trick, and Bent's last-minute strike repaired none of the damage inflicted on the demoralised visitors.

FM

NEWCASTLE UNITED 2010/11

PREMIERSHIP

SUNDERLAND 1 NEWCASTLE 1 (Nolan)
Harper, Simpson, Coloccini, Williamson, Jose Enrique, Barton, Nolan, Smith (Guthrie 37),Gutierrez (Gosling 90), Best (Lovenkrands 88), Ameobi.
Subs Not Used: Krul, Routledge, Perch, Ranger.

NEWCASTLE 5 WEST HAM 0 (Best 3, Nolan, Lovenkrands)
Harper, Simpson, Steven Taylor (Williamson 46), Coloccini, Jose Enrique, Barton, Nolan, Tiote, Gutierrez (Ferguson 66), Lovenkrands, Best (Ranger 64).
Subs Not Used: Krul, Guthrie, Routledge, Perch.

WIGAN 0 NEWCASTLE 1 (Ameobi)
Harper, Simpson, Steven Taylor, Coloccini, Jose Enrique, Barton, Nolan (Smith 86), Tiote, Gutierrez, Ameobi (Best 77), Lovenkrands (Routledge 70).
Subs Not Used: Krul, Williamson, Perch, Ranger.

TOTTENHAM 2 NEWCASTLE 0
Krul, Coloccini, Steven Taylor, Perch, Tiote (Lovenkrands 79), Barton, Routledge, Simpson, Smith, Gutierrez (Ranger 67), Carroll.
Subs Not Used: Harper, Williamson, Xisco, Best, Kadar.

NEWCASTLE 1 MAN CITY 3 (Carroll)
Krul, Simpson, Steven Taylor, Coloccini, Jose Enrique, Routledge (Ranger 60), Barton, Tiote, Gutierrez, Nolan, Carroll.
Subs Not Used: Harper, Williamson, Guthrie, Perch, Smith, Best.

NEWCASTLE 3 LIVERPOOL 1 (Nolan, Barton, Carroll)
Krul, Simpson, Steven Taylor, Campbell, Jose Enrique, Barton (Routledge 90), Nolan (Smith 87), Tiote, Gutierrez, Carroll, Ameobi (Ranger 63).
Subs Not Used: Harper, Guthrie, Lovenkrands, Perch.

WEST BROM 3 NEWCASTLE 1 (Lovenkrands)
Krul, Simpson, Steven Taylor, Campbell, Jose Enrique, Routledge (Ranger 74), Guthrie (Smith 73), Tiote, Gutierrez, Carroll, Ameobi (Lovenkrands 46).
Subs Not Used: Soderberg, Perch, Best, Kadar.

NEWCASTLE 1 CHELSEA 1 (Carroll)
Krul, Simpson, Steven Taylor, Campbell, Jose Enrique, Routledge, Guthrie, Tiote, Gutierrez, Carroll, Ameobi (Ranger 77).
Subs Not Used: Soderberg, Lovenkrands, Perch, Smith, Best, Kadar.

BOLTON 5 NEWCASTLE 1 (Carroll)
Krul, Simpson, Williamson, Coloccini, Jose Enrique, Guthrie (Routledge 71), Nolan, Smith, Gutierrez (Campbell 77), Carroll, Ameobi (Lovenkrands 72).
Subs Not Used: Soderberg, Perch, Steven Taylor, Ranger.

NEWCASTLE 0 FULHAM 0
Krul, Simpson, Williamson, Coloccini, Jose Enrique, Guthrie (Routledge 76), Tiote, Nolan, Gutierrez, Carroll, Lovenkrands (Ranger 76).
Subs Not Used: Soderberg, Campbell, Smith, Xisco, Steven Taylor.

NEWCASTLE 1 BLACKBURN 2 (Carroll)
Krul, Simpson, Coloccini, Williamson, Jose Enrique, Barton, Nolan, Tiote (Routledge 88), Gutierrez, Carroll,Ameobi (Ranger 46).
Subs Not Used: Soderberg, Campbell, Lovenkrands, Smith, Steven Taylor.

ARSENAL 0 NEWCASTLE 1 (Carroll)
Krul, Simpson, Coloccini, Williamson, Jose Enrique, Barton, Tiote, Nolan, Gutierrez, Carroll, Ameobi (Ranger 82).
Subs Not Used: Soderberg, Campbell, Routledge, Lovenkrands, Smith, Steven Taylor.

NEWCASTLE 5 SUNDERLAND 1 (Nolan 3, Ameobi 2 - 1 pen)
Krul, Jose Enrique, Coloccini, Williamson, Simpson,Tiote, Barton, Nolan, Gutierrez, Ameobi (Ranger 86), Carroll.
Subs Not Used: Soderberg, Routledge, Lovenkrands, Perch, Ryan Taylor, Smith.

WEST HAM 1 NEWCASTLE 2 (Nolan, Carroll)
Krul, Simpson, Williamson, Coloccini, Jose Enrique, Barton, Nolan, Tiote, Gutierrez, Carroll, Ameobi.
Subs Not Used: Soderberg, Guthrie, Routledge, Lovenkrands, Perch, Ryan Taylor, Smith.

NEWCASTLE 2 WIGAN ATH 2 (Ameobi, Coloccini)
Krul, Perch (Ranger 89), Coloccini, Williamson, Jose Enrique, Guthrie (Routledge 66), Tiote, Barton, Gutierrez, Lovenkrands (Ameobi 60), Carroll.
Subs Not Used: Soderberg, Ryan Taylor, Smith, Kadar. 

MAN CITY 2 NEWCASTLE 1 (Gutierrez)
Krul, Perch, Williamson, Coloccini (Campbell 36), Jose Enrique, Ben Arfa (Routledge 7), Nolan (Carroll 76), Tiote, Barton, Gutierrez, Ameobi.
Subs Not Used: Soderberg, Lovenkrands, Ryan Taylor, Smith.

NEWCASTLE 1 STOKE CITY 2 (Nolan pen)
Krul, Perch, Coloccini, Williamson, Jose Enrique, Ben Arfa (Gutierrez 62), Barton, Tiote (Ameobi 74), Routledge, Nolan, Carroll.
Subs Not Used: Soderberg, Lovenkrands, Ryan Taylor, Smith, Ranger.

EVERTON 0 NEWCASTLE 1 (Ben Arfa)
Harper (Krul 35), Perch, Coloccini, Williamson,Jose Enrique, Routledge, Tiote, Barton,Ben Arfa (Gutierrez 84), Nolan, Carroll.
Subs Not Used: Campbell, Lovenkrands, Ryan Taylor, Smith.

NEWCASTLE 0 BLACKPOOL 2
Harper, Perch, Coloccini, Williamson, Jose Enrique, Routledge (Ameobi 81), Smith (Lovenkrands 62), Barton, Gutierrez (Ben Arfa 73), Nolan, Carroll.
Subs Not Used: Krul, Campbell, Ryan Taylor, Tiote.

WOLVES 1 NEWCASTLE 1 (Carroll)
Harper, Perch, Williamson, Coloccini, Jose Enrique, Routledge, Smith, Barton, Gutierrez, Nolan, Carroll (Ameobi 81).
Subs Not Used: Krul, Lovenkrands, Ryan Taylor, Kadar, Vuckic, Ranger.

NEWCASTLE 6 ASTON VILLA 0 (Barton, Nolan 2, Carroll 3)
Harper, Perch, Coloccini, Williamson, Jose Enrique, Routledge (Ameobi 76), Smith (Ryan Taylor 76), Barton, Gutierrez (Xisco 80), Nolan, Carroll.
Subs Not Used: Krul, Lovenkrands, Vuckic, Tavernier.

MAN UTD 3 NEWCASTLE 0
Harper, Perch, Coloccini, Williamson, Jose Enrique, Routledge, Smith, Nolan (Ameobi 71), Barton,Gutierrez (Xisco 80), Carroll.
Subs Not Used: Krul, Ryan Taylor, Vuckic, Ranger, Tavernier.

FA CUP

STEVENAGE 3 NEWCASTLE 1
Krul, Perch, Coloccini, Williamson, Simpson, Barton, Smith (Tiote 58), Nolan, Routledge, Lovenkrands (Airey 78), Best (Ranger 46).
Subs Not Used: Soderberg, Guthrie, Kadar, Ferguson.

CARLING CUP

NEWCASTLE 0 ARSENAL 4
Krul, Perch, Williamson, Kadar, Ryan Taylor, Routledge (Gutierrez 56), Guthrie, Smith (Barton 71), Vuckic, Lovenkrands (Carroll 57), Ranger.
Subs Not Used: Soderberg, Coloccini, Jose Enrique, Tiote.

CHELSEA 3 NEWCASTLE 4 (Ranger, R Taylor, Ameobi 2)
Krul, Ryan Taylor (Tiote 63), Campbell, Coloccini (Williamson 63), Ferguson (Barton 90), Ranger, Gutierrez, Vuckic, Smith, Ameobi, Lovenkrands.
Subs Not Used: Soderberg, Nolan, Carroll, Ben Arfa.

ACCRINGTON STANLEY 2 NEWCASTLE 3 (Ryan Taylor, Ameobi, Lovenkrands)
Krul, Ryan Taylor, Kadar, Tavernier, Ferguson, Ranger, Donaldson, Vuckic (Nolan 90), LuaLua, Ameobi,Lovenkrands.
Subs Not Used: Soderberg, Williamson, Barton, Routledge, Perch, Smith.

PRE-SEASON

CARLISLE 0 NEWCASTLE 3 (Best, Ranger, Vuckic)
Harper (Krul 46), Tavernier (R Taylor 46), Coloccini (S Taylor 46) (Henderson 81), Williamson (Perch 46), Enrique (Ferguson 46), Inman (Routledge 46), Smith (Barton 46), Nolan (Guthrie 46), LuaLua (Vuckic 46) , Carroll (Best 46), Lovenkrands (Ranger 46).

NORWICH CITY 2 NEWCASTLE 1 (Ameobi)
Krul, Taylor (Routledge 45), Tavernier, Coloccini (Williamson 45), Diaz (Ferguson 57); Ranger (Xisco 45), Barton (Smith 45), Nolan (Guthrie 45), Vuckic (Edmundsson 72); Best (Lovenkrands 45), Carroll (Ameobi 45).

NEWCASTLE 2 PSV EINDHOVEN 2 (R.Taylor, Best)
Harper, Perch, Enrique, Coloccini, Williamson, Guthrie, Nolan, Smith, Ryan Taylor, Lovenkrands, Ameobi. Subs: Carroll, Xisco, Best, LuaLua, Krul, Vuckic, Ranger, Donaldson, Tavernier.

DEPORTIVO 0 NEWCASTLE 0 (NUFC win 5-4 on penalties - Lovenkrands, Nolan, Carroll, R Taylor, Barton)
Harper (Krul 46); R Taylor, Perch (Tavernier 52), Coloccini, Enrique; Routledge, Barton, Guthrie (Nolan 46), Xisco (Gutierrez 46); Carroll, Best (Lovenkrands 73). Subs (not used): Smith, Ferguson

RANGERS 2 NEWCASTLE 1 (Lovenkrands)
Harper; Perch (Tavernier 81), Coloccini (Ferguson 81), Williamson, Enrique (R Taylor 56); Routledge (Xisco 83), Barton, Nolan, Guthrie, Gutierrez (Lovenkrands 69); Carroll (Ameobi 46).