Building Newcastle's Perfect Premier League Footballer

Newcastle are an enigma. One of the most historic clubs in the land but recently are perhaps better known for Mike Ashley's reign of terror at the club. But things could be on the up with a possible takeover still in the pipeline despite the global financial struggles.


So let's imagine we are those potential new owners looking to invest in some exciting new talent next season; what blueprint would they be following? If we were to build a 'Transformers' style mega mash of the best players to play in the Premier League for the Toon, what would we produce? Cast your eyes over our Tyneside creation.



Brain - Gary Speed


Gary Speed of Newcastle United

The definition of a team player, Gary Speed is a club legend whose sudden death in 2011 stunned the football world.


Signed in 1998, the intelligent Welshman was at the heart of the Newcastle midfield for seven seasons before moving to Bolton.


Former teammates remember him as incredibly personable and generally good bloke. Collected two FA Cup runners-up medals on Tyneside, played professionally until the age of 39 and went on to manage Sheffield United and later his country. One of the truly great football minds of his generation.



Eyes (Vision) - Nolberto Solano


Nolberto Solano

Nobby Solano is another Toon icon and one who could see things many others couldn't. One of the best dead ball specialists in the Premier League era, Solano was key to Newcastle's successful period in the early 2000s.


Enjoyed two spells at the club, either side of a move to Aston Villa, and playing over 300 games; the 'adopted Geordie' from Peru formed a dynamic partnership with Frenchman Laurent Robert.


Away from the game, Solano played the trumpet more than competently and had his own Salsa band The Geordie Latinos. Get booking for your wedding now.



Lungs - David Batty


David Batty

One of England's best defensive midfielders of his generation; Batty was a tireless worker and arguably under appreciated for both club and country.


He was often plagued by untimely injuries, meaning he missed the chance to play at Euro 2000.


But for two seasons at St. James' Park, Batty was a key shield to the defence and helped the side finish second in his first full season at the club. The dynamic, tenacious roadrunner would go on to join former team Leeds, whom he helped reach the semi-finals of the Champions League.



Body (Strength) - Cheick Tioté


Cheick Tiote

Cheick Tioté turned in some fantastic performances for the club for a number of seasons and adopted the nickname 'The Tank' on Tyneside.


Known more for his aggressive tackling and interception skills, Tioté could occasionally hit a sweet ball when he wanted to, most notably an inch perfect volley against Arsenal in 2011.


He gained many suitors from abroad during his time up north and he eventually moved to China; where his career was so very cruelly cut short, when he suffered a cardiac arrest in 2017 and tragically passed away.



Legs (Pace) - Obafemi Martins


Aston Villa v Newcastle United - Premier League

Oh Obafemi, what a character the Nigerian striker was, and although never prolific, he did score some fantastic goals while at Newcastle.


Signed from Inter in 2006, the absolutely rapid Martins hit the ground running and had a successful first season in England, but his form fell away after the arrival of Sam Allardyce.


Possessor of a fiercely powerful strike, the forward's goal celebrations are some of the most acrobatic the Premier League has seen.



Left Foot - David Ginola


The epitome of suave and sophistication, David Ginola certainly raised a few eyebrows when he joined the English game in 1995.


The charismatic and gifted winger who had an absolute gem of a left foot, was mercurial to say the least and didn't exactly possess a work ethic, but often came up with an outrageous piece of play out of nowhere.


It got too cold up north in the end for David and he joined Spurs in 1997, where he continued to entertain and frustrate in equal measure. Dabbled in acting after retirement as well as dancing, wine making and a FIFA presidency attempt; how very cultured.



Right Foot - Alan Shearer


The greatest player to play in the Premier League perhaps? In terms of goals, no one is even close. His 260 Premier League hits may never be overtaken and it's made even more remarkable by the fact that he never played for a supposed 'Top Four' club.


A classic English striker with bite, aggression, tactical awareness and clinical finishing; Shearer is the first thing you think about when it comes to Newcastle - apart from maybe it's night life.


Great with his head and from the penalty spot, but the majority of the goals came from his right boot and it's one of the best to have played the game.



Hair - Daniel Cordone


Newcastle v Spurs

Honourable mentions go to Andy Carroll and Fabricio Coloccini but Argentinian flop Daniel Cordone takes this one.


Played one single season at Newcastle in 2000 after signing from Racing Club and didn't score a single league goal, but it's the barnet that grabbed the headlines.


Looking like a cross between Iggy Pop and Hercules; with a long blonde and brown greasy mullet held back with a rather painful looking hairband, it was all a bit of a mess. Don't even get us started on his unremovable soldered hoop earrings as well.




Source : 90min