Sadly, these sex antics have genuinely hit the players in question on the football field as well as in the pocket.
Titus has a rape charge against him, although that does not surprise me in the least, wasn't he involved in the infamous "split roast" incident in a London hotel during Sir Bobby's term as Toon manager?
If his lawyers are watching .... I'm not suggesting Titus DID anything ... but he was certainly having a gleg at those who were.
Terry lost the captain's armband prior to the World Cup, and Rooney is "too depressed" to play for Manchester United at the moment ... because his lass is about to walk away with a tidy sum of his dosh.
Yesterday evening saw David Beckham's lawyers kick off their legal action against former prostitute Irma Niki by popping round to her New York hotel to serve her with a £16m writ. ("Room service!")
Desperate to know more? Well, The Sun has helpfully provided some action shots of a smirking Irma receiving the writ - and, if you're really at a loose end, you can read the full nine-page legal document on the tabloid's website.
(I did try to read through it all - but you know how wordy and complicated these official papers are! A couple of sentences in, and I may just as well have been reading the small print on my washing machine guarantee.)
But just to pick out a couple of key paragraphs, the writ states that Irma's claims about Becks in last week's In Touch magazine are "libellous and slanderous".
It continues: "These statements falsely accuse Beckham of criminal and adulterous activity. The defamatory statements expose him to hatred, contempt, ridicule and obloquy because they inaccurately portray Beckham as an unfaithful husband who put his wife's health at risk by engaged in sexual acts with prostitutes."
(Brief pause while we all nip off to look up "obloquy" in the dictionary. Ah, apparently it means "strong public criticism or verbal abuse". So now we know.)
The writ adds that the statements have caused Becks "great mental anguish and emotional distress" and have "adversely affected him in his professional life as an athlete, endorser and charity spokesperson".
Well, let's hope the whole thing's sorted out as soon as possible, and David and Posh get back to doing what they do best ... powting infront of the camera.