During his spell at St James' Park, the first-team squad would share a bottle of Harvey's Bristol Cream sherry in the dressing room after a game and, in a matter presumably unconnected, Gazza once drove a tractor into the wall of the dressing room at the training ground.
He also remembers crashing Mirandinha's new club car and teaching the Brazilian his version of English. 'I can't tell you how I translated "I want ice cream". Wednesday was w***day. So when he used to say, "I like w***day", it was the funniest thing.'
Gaza: 'It's scary where I've been, man. I'm telling you. I was sectioned because I was either a threat to the public, or to myself. Or maybe both! I'd had enough of life, the world had ended for me.
'I wasn't in control. The more I tried, the worse it got. I was paranoid and I'd drink to see if I became less paranoid. I've learned I can't change what I can't control. I can't turn back the clock and make it better. I can't make the day perfect, but if I can improve it by two per cent, it's better than minus two per cent.
'If I'm having a bad day, I write notes about football strategy, or my poetry. I want to show I still have something to offer to football. I will finish my coaching badges, look to people like Alan Shearer as an inspiration and wait and see.'
Q: Favourite (current) player?
A: Wayne Rooney. I watch him develop, admire his versatility and his skill and thank (God) that he is English. What a player … he should smile more and realise how much he has going for him. Cheer up, lad; his pretty wife, his bairn on the way and playing for a great club. I hope he isn't too old before his time.
Q: Which team would you like to play for now?
A: Hard question. I'd like to play with Steven Gerrard at Liverpool and ease the pressure on him to be the match-winner each week. He looks too anxious at times, but what a player! I'd like to help Frank Lampard for the same reason. Fabregas can really play and he's hard too. Can I say all three?
Q: Favourite (all time) player?
A: Bryan Robson. That bloke was everywhere. I've seen videos of him when he was at West Brom with his curly Afro hair. I admire how he came back from so many injuries. He was a true Captain Marvel. I loved him.
Q: Best goal?
A: Against Scotland. Every time I see Colin Hendry now he says: "Just don't say it, Gazza!" He's still in the same place at the old Wembley, you know. I turned him inside out so many times, he turned into the ground. Go visit him there. I was playing in Scotland for Rangers, I loved the place … and then I scored that goal!
Q: Funniest memory?
A: Abel Xavier used to try and pull birds and fail, because nobody would know who he was. Then he would say: "I'm a friend of Paul Gascoigne's"… and come back with their number! It makes me laugh that one.
Q Best time?
A: The season after the World Cup, with Tottenham. Everything went right. It was a magical time. On the pitch, I could do no wrong. I left clubs at the wrong time. I shouldn't have left Tottenham, I shouldn't have left Rangers when I did and then I should have stayed at Everton when David Moyes took over, instead of leaving when Walter Smith left. Who knows what might have happened to me if I could have worked with David Moyes? I might still be there now.